Funny Sms Jokes

☻20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand

☻A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.

☻Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!

☻At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.

☻Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

☻Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.

☻BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!

☻Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!

☻Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.

☻Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .

☻Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .

☻Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !

☻E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.

☻Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.

☻For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?"

☻God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!

☻God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!

☻HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!

☻Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.

☻Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..

☻How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?

☻I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!

☻I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T

☻I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.

☻I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...

☻I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really
perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!